You need to stop with your perfection,
jk never stop
(Source : secondhandroses)
- parents: *yells at you*
- parents: *screams at you*
- parents: *doesnt listen to what ur saying*
- me: *raises voice slightly*
- parents: HEY watch ur tone we did not raise u to be so disrespectful this is unacceptable I can't believe ur yelling at us like this what is wrong with u calm down
fun fact i knew this girl from camp who had a british accent but she wasn’t from england and then one day i went to her house and her parents didn’t have a british accent either so i asked her where she got it from because i was really confused and she told me her parents faked it until she was 7 because they wanted a child with a british accent
(Source : bearaclaus)
- fashion tip: wear black on the first day of school so you're ready for the funeral of your happiness
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it
There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it.
yes, mr. action hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.
Oh, hey, you there, sneaky hero-type breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME FUCKING GLOVES. They’re called fingerprints, dumbass. You have them and you’re putting them all over the fucking place.
If something really fucking huge is falling on you, don’t FUCKING RUN ALONG THE LENGTH JUST TAKE LIKE TWO FUCKING STEPS TO THE SIDE
The Bad Guy is walking away, but you, the Good Guy, refuse to shoot them in the back? SHOOT THEM IN THE LEG.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.
I think the fandom has gone off their rocker.
Honestly we maintained our sanity longer than I had expected.
(Source : raphmike)
On Easter, we had this tradition where an old man down the road would paint little ‘bunny’ prints along the sidewalk, as well as up to the door of every house where a child lives…and he’s done this every year, without fail, since before I was born.
Over the summer, that old man passed away, so no one in their right mind expected to see the tracks this year. However, when I woke up- there they were!
Turns out that his eighteen year old grandson (who happens to be known as the badass of our school) got up at three this morning and spent four hours- by himself -painting the prints; just to make sure that the neighborhood kids wouldn’t be disappointed.
My faith in our generation = restored.
Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”
Soda just spewed out my nose
THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST
(Source : mintyboob)
I still wanna know this little inside joke thing they have going on here
(Source : demetriae3)
Prompt: Pregnancy Scare.
Here you go guys. Let me know what you think, good or bad :)
I was sitting on the sofa when Maddie came in. I could hear her greeting but I couldn’t find it in me to respond. I felt the sofa dip as she sat beside me and placed a…
I’m in love.